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A snapshot of my mind..

Updated: Apr 22, 2020

I wonder where I need to start writing this note. For me, to just pause and dream has been a habit I developed since I was a child. Maybe because I was the only daughter to my parents and my dad was in a faraway land like every Malayali man working hard to feed his family and my mom a very hard working woman serving the Western Railways, the only best friend I had while growing up was my very imaginative mind.

The moment I woke up from sleep, with a glass of Bournvita in my hand, I would look out of the window and look at the coconut trees and the crows hustling from one branch to another. I often wondered what’s in there to-do list for the day. From that thought, my mind would wander to wonder... if I had finished my homework, or what dress should I wear to my tuitions and which game I'll play in the evening (which was the most awaited part of the day). All this pondering while my Ammama - irritated by now, points towards the inside of the house, and orders me to just go take a shower so that I don’t get late for my school bus.

Years went by, thoughts kept changing from what’s my homework to what’s the cheapest mobile/cell SMS/text scheme. You see in 2005, it was rage, all the cell phone companies were in a fight to give people the cheapest price so lovers could chat all night long… Call each other for just 30 paise per minute (you read it right, just 30 paise)… and then thoughts of my then-boyfriend to now-husband… when will my parents sleep tonight so I could go meet him for just a couple of minutes downstairs and quickly kiss good night and come back up without making any noise? A true Abhisarika of a slightly modern time!! :)

Ah, those priceless moments and thoughts…. All of this, with some tea in hand and simply looking into space. All my major plans in life have been made while I was staring out of the space. 

Again, years went by and I sit in a (not so) foreign land (anymore) with a cup of chai in my hand, looking at these very beautiful lush pink flowers growing in my front yard and wondering what I should write about today, an exercise which has become a practice now.  Instead came the thoughts of all those years that went by which now feels like, at lightning speed. Here I sit and think, what a lovely life I’ve had and if not for those quiet staring-into-space moments, I wouldn’t have gotten a chance to listen to myself in this super fast-paced world that I live in now.

Images in this blog: Flowering Crab Apple tree on my frontyard.

P.S: When did it happen?

“It was a long time ago”

Where did it happen?

“It was far away”

No, tell. Where did it happen?

“In my heart”

What is your heart doing now?

Remembering. Remembering!!

                                                  Felicity: Mary Oliver

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